Listen to your heart: 7 ways to trust your intuition

My mind was tangled. I felt frantic and out of control. I was being pulled and tugged in different directions.

My heart screamed but I couldn’t hear. Fear grabbed me by the hand and tried to lead me away. My soul fought back.

Decisions, Decisions… Like a true Libran, I often find such predicaments an extreme task which lead to flustered bouts of self-doubt and a feeling of being somewhat out of sync from the natural flow of life.

I have always chased my heart’s desires and followed the calling of my soul, first and foremost. I prefer to live my life this way. However, with such a heart-led life must come a deep trust in something greater than what I have control over.

I had to learn to listen to my body and heart when it came to making decisions.

To rely on feelings, however, can be challenging. Most of us are switched off to our primal instincts, and instead, let fear, pack mentality and society’s expectations dictate our paths.

I have been lured by the sweet promise of safety and security, at my soul’s detriment, and have come very close to settling for a life that was far removed from the one I dreamed of and the one I feel I deserve.

Sometimes the wrong decision is disguised as the easiest. It’s a little trick our minds like to play on us to lull us into a false sense of security.

Our minds seek comfort. Our hearts seek truth.

What happens when we need to make big, life-impacting decisions? Fear takes over, the voices in our head get loud and bossy and urge us to avoid taking risks. Our ego tries desperately to con us into taking the easy way out.

We, therefore, don’t often make our choices from the heart, we make them from the mind space which governs much of our lives and tends to try to keep us small.

Our worried minds are not on our sides. Anything that favorsfear over love is not an ally of mine. If 60-80% of our thoughts each day are negative, how do we learn to make decisions based on what is truly best for us rather than what is easiest, or avoid making the wrong choices based on fear?

“I believe in intuitions and inspirations… I sometimes ‘feel’ that I am right. I do not ‘know’ that I am.” ~ Albert Einstein

When a choice is made based on a deep and instinctual knowingfelt in our gut or heart, we tend to find that the outcome is beneficial for ourselves and our life path. Our bodies are our greatest and wisest guides.

We simply need to learn to recognize and listen to their quiet wisdom, rather than the misleading chitter-chatter of our mind. This way, we will be following a deeper calling — an instinctual and soul-driven knowledge that whatever it is we are drawn to is ultimately the best opportunity for us.

You know those pieces of undeniable wisdom which seem to speak out loud at 3 am? That is our higher self communicating, often when you least expect it. It is our inner guru — the youwithin you, the divine within… our celestial soul.

“We have five senses in which we glory and which we recognize and celebrate, senses that constitute the sensible world for us. But there are other senses — secret senses, sixth senses, if you will — equally vital, but unrecognized, and unlauded.” ~ Oliver Sacks

So how do we distinguish between the wise voice inside which speaks the truth and the voice which keeps us small and prevents us from being bold?

1. Breathe. Our breath is the single most effective way of connecting with our bodies — and therefore, our truth. Joining the space between our bodies and souls opens up a communication channel from which we can learn ideas, inspiration and truths behind choice.

When it all seems too much to handle, when you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, sit and breathe… what do you feel? Go deeper within, keep breathing and you may feel a gentle pull towards what’s best.

2. Trust Yourself. Our friends and families want the best for us. They want us to be happy, but Only You know what’s best forYou. Our friends might think they know the answers based on their unique experiences, and our families might advise us based on their need to protect us.

Both are wonderful sources of support, but neither have the answers you need to make that decision. If you go against the advice of everyone around you, that’s fine; it’s your choice, and your heart is leading you on your own special journey.

3. Look for the signs. Often we overlook subtle synchronicities which are there to guide us down the best path. I believe that such signs are actually our subconscious trying to communicate with our conscious self. We should pay attention to coincidences and make note of subtle symbols which might lead us to discover a more authentic life choice which is truly best for us.

4. Smile and let go. Sometimes, when faced with the hardest decisions, we put so much pressure on ourselves to do what’sright that we forget to realize that life is a beautiful ride and is made up of a series of experiences. The choices we make are never wrong — they simply contain the lessons we need to grow as people and be the best we can be.

Know that whatever happens, as a consequence of our actions, will always be the best for us, at that time. Smile, trust, surrender and enjoy the ride.

5. Know that the Universe wants the best for you. Sometimes we have to let go and surrender to the flow of life. We like to be in control of the little fleshy spaceship we call our bodies, but our bodies will operate with or without our instruction. We will keep on breathing, our heart will keep on beating.

The Universe is a complex, intelligent and loving organism, and I’m pretty sure that if it can create planets and stars, then it can guide us on the right course.

6. Move. When water stands still, it becomes stagnant. Similarly, our lives become stale if we become physically stuck. When faced with a big decision, the worst thing we can do is let it paralyze us; we must keep moving. It doesn’t matter where, just move your body.

Those energies shifting inside, when we release our bodies from the shackles of stillness, may just release the answers we are looking for.

7. Create. Sometimes my biggest revelations have come about whilst writing. I let my fingers hit the keyboard, and as I start to type, it quickly becomes a stream of consciousness which can often reveal the answers I was pondering.

Creativity is a direct line of communication between your heart and the world. If you paint, write or build, get lost in creating and your heart might just speak her truth via the medium of your art.

                 “Intuition is seeing with the soul.” ~ Dean Koontz

Have the biggest adventure of your life

I have always been fond of dreaming up quests and escapades.

The mundane does not interest me and I am pulled by the sweet temptation of adventure. So, 12 months ago I bought a one way ticket to Australia, and what followed has been the biggest adventure of my life.

To travel to the other side of the world in search of adventure is not a new concept. When Christopher Columbus embarked on his maiden voyage across the globe, he, like any intrepid explorer, was curious as to what lay over the water and was determined in his quest for new and unchartered lands.

We’re a curious bunch, us humans, and we often become complacent in our admiration of home soil. We grow restless to seek new and exotic landscapes to rekindle our connection with the earth, discover the beauty of the planet and forge our own maiden voyages. We recognise the shared sense of awe and appreciation in discovering unusual lands and their accompanying cultures.

We live on a huge, beautiful, wild, planet – to think we might only see a small fraction of it in our lifetime  seems unimaginable. 6 Continents, 7 billion people, 2 hemispheres, various time zones, tropical rainforests, arid deserts, snow capped mountains, ice-ridden landscapes, ancient tribes and modern mega cities, jungles, great expansive plains containing a great cacophony of life and vast expanses of ocean and coral reefs….

All contribute to this extraordinary ball of rock we call our home.

There is a great attraction in the unfamiliar, a mystery in the unusual; We are drawn to exotic locations, far from home and we are intrigued by the cultures and traditions of the natives which inhabit these foreign territories.

If our native environment is the cosmopolitan industrial city-scape then we may yearn for the soothing rhythm of the ocean, rolling green hills and mountains. If we are born into the heat of equator-bound climes, then perhaps we long for the crisp freshness of a European city in autumn.

Whatever it is we crave, and wherever it is we have a burning desire to venture to, it can be a life changing experience to bite the bullet, buy a ticket and go. To be immersed in the day to day life of a country or city totally alien to your own is enriching and eye opening; You leave behind the safety of the predictability and the comfort of routine and you are thrown into an abyss of the deliciously unaccustomed and unacquainted…

Shackles are broken, connections are formed, stereotypes are shattered and your mind is blown open. Often we find ourselves leaving behind old habits and beliefs as the physical distance we travel allows us to separate from that which no longer serves us. The age-old cliché of ‘finding oneself’ is finally realised as you acknowledge yourself in your wholeness, standing alone; Independent from the validation of the familiar.

Typically we are taught, through the media or through social norms, that as a planet we are disconnected and separate from one another, divided by religions, cultures and the colour of our skin. In truth we are united by the pulse of being alive and sharing a common bond; our planet. We all live together on this earth, physically divided by oceans and borders but spiritually connected by the simple fact that we are human and we are brothers and sisters, united in our collective existence.

I believe in the importance of inter-cultural exploration, to understand that despite the miles between us and the attempts to socially  or otherwise separate us, we all breathe the same air, we all appreciate the kindness of strangers and the power of a smile when language barriers silence us. To explore the nuances of a  foreign culture is to better appreciate the dynamic and beautiful elements that make up the mosaic of life which exists on our planet.

There is a whole world out there waiting to be discovered – A rich and diverse tapestry which weaves together the threads of ancient history, eclectic traditions and towns and cities steeped in culture. We owe it to ourselves and to future generations to dip our toes into faraway oceans, to taste and smell the aromas of freedom and adventure and to experience a way of life which is a far cry from our own, if only to walk in the shoes of those who we would otherwise only hear about in stories or read of in books.

 So, if you find yourself pulled by the curious call of travel or feel the burning desire within to venture to new lands, don’t hesitate, don’t delay.. pack your bag, open your mind and heart and go..

Non- attachment; How to set ourselves free

I think we can all say that at some point in our lives we have become attached to someone or something.

What starts out as a casual desire or appreciation can slowly turn into the shackles of attachment. The fear that one day it might not be yours creeps into the recesses of your mind, and gradually you become a slave to the need to possess, to hold tight and tonever let go.

Attachment seems to link closely with an idea of ownership — a protective, ego bound possession. We are afraid that we will lose whatever it is we keep. Fear takes over as we try desperately to grapple at that which we think we have a right to own; be it a belief or a person.

Buddhism promotes the idea of detachment as a path to happiness. We let go of that which we want to cling on to and, in doing so, something wonderful happens; we realize that we never owned it in the first place and nothing is ever really under our control.

We give permission to stay or go. And with this new arrangement comes trust and an acceptance that ‘whatever may be, may be’. We surrender to the mystery of life; we set ourselves free.

Nothing is permanent, nothing is given or fixed. We can’t ever know that anything will stay in our lives, not even if we make them promise, or if we promise ourselves; promises can be broken, trust can be damaged. People change, life goes on.

Of course, to live in a state of apathetic detachment seems soul-less and empty, and it can be argued that the things we love and give us joy are the sweet icing on the cake of life; so is it possible to cherish that which we love, yet remain open to its finiteness in our lives?

The real key to happiness, and appreciating that which we have in our lives without getting attached to them, is to develop a strong sense of personal freedom and love for ourselves which allows us to enjoy connections with others and for what we have, without fear of the future or potential loss.

We are therefore whole, we are loving and we are present. And above all, we are confident in our individual strength without needing anyone or anything to validate us.

I’ve been in relationships where one or both of us has feared the other leaving, to the point where either begins to control, to grab, to cling. This inevitably leads to jealousy, fear, resentment, and all the ugly elements of a relationship which is doomed.

The unfortunate irony of attachment in relationships is that the more you cling to someone, for fear of losing them, the more likely you are to push them away and encourage their departure.

There is an analogy about holding a handful of sand. If we close our fist around the sand, it forces out between our fingers, it slips between the crevices and it spills out. If we sit patiently with our hand open, the sand stays put. This explains the very nature of attachment and clinging: when we desperately want to hold on to something, we end up losing it.

“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” ~ Dalai Lama

Attachment and possession are like capturing a wild animal ; the beautiful creature lives its life free to move as it pleases, to come and go and run and play. It is admired and desired because of its beauty and freedom and also because it is different and mysterious.

People want to take the animal out of its habitat and covet it. So the wild animal is captured and trapped, never allowed back to the wild, for fear that given a choice, it will not return.

What happens to this animal in captivity? It begins to wither and its souls begins to fade; it remembers how it loved to roam free, how it could explore and experience life the way it wanted to and  the spirit it once had in its heart begins to fade.

The very nature of the wild animal disappears, and its place is taken up by nothing but sadness. And who wants to keep prisoner a sad and lonely soul?

In the same way, when we love something or someone, we do so because we love the state they are in naturally and spontaneously. We love their wildness. If we try to preserve thiswildness by keeping them close, taming them and protecting them from their natural habitat, controlling them and enslaving them, we will watch the very element we loved in them disappear.

The key is to realize that what we have today, we might not have tomorrow, and we will be okay with that. We need to feel secure enough in our own lives so that we needn’t look for validation elsewhere. We need to know that we will survive the loss of love and friendships and possessions and still continue to exist.

“You must love  in such a way that the person you love feels free.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

In this way, detachment is a beautiful expression of gratitude and appreciation, because we are acknowledging the impermanence and wildness of that which we love, which begins with the love we have for ourselves and transcends to the freedom of others.

It means leaving an open door to those who come into our lives and hearts — free to come and go as they please and being thankful for their presence along the way.

It means loving the spaces, the gaps and the distances between each other; it is within these reserves that a mutual appreciation awakens. When you take a step back, you can admire something in its entirety. And the space allows for a little mystery to grow.

It means honoring the freedom and wildness of everyone who comes into our lives; they may stay a season or they may stay a lifetime, but they certainly crossed your path for a reason.

People are lessons, sometimes we have to let the most important ones go… for that was part of the nature of their very teaching.

It is acknowledging everyone’s individuality and choice. What might work for one might not work for the other, and what worked once may cease to at a later stage. It is accepting that life moves in mysterious ways; sometimes in our favour, sometimes against.

The beauty of life is in the acceptance of its fragility, like a delicate crystal — a reminder of the impermanence of our existence.

To embrace this is to embrace the unpredictability of life, to give thanks for the connections with others who are present in our lives, knowing that one day they may not be, and to focus on building relationships which set ourselves and others free.