You are the sum of your experiences.
So they say.
We are told that we are a part-nurtured, part-natured walking product of everything we’ve been through and everything we believe to be true within and without of ourselves. We are a collection of memories, subconscious influences and belief systems which gradually mold us into the folks we are today.
We are warned that we carry the burden of all the unkind words and unfair judgments that we have ever received, that we harbor all our previous moments of personal anguish, and that we embody all the false hopes and misguided truths which we have learned and which we must un-learn in order to find true happiness.
However…
… are we not, therefore, the product of all of our positive experiences too? Are we not carrying around the satisfaction of every heartfelt compliment and word of encouragement?
Are we not resonating with every kind smile, every yet-to-be-realized dream and every moment of pure joy which linger inside of us, waiting to be recalled and re-lived to remind us of how amazing we really are?
I believe that for every breakdown, there is a breakthrough. For every put-down, there is a great big hoist-up, and for every thunderstorm, there is a rainbow that follows.
In essence, we are strong, we are determined and we are hopeful. At our core, we believe that there is always something to aim for, be that true love, contentment… success… or heaven. We are unified in our common pursuit for more, for better, for what we feel we deserve.
For every insult you endured, I can bet you have received a compliment. For every rejection you survived, you have achieved some form of success, and for every time you forgot how to believe in yourself, you were shocked by the realization that you had more faith than you ever gave yourself credit for. For every time you have been lost… you have also been found.
You always picked yourself up and carried on. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here now.
We dwell on the times we fell, we lost and we were hurt. We hold on to our wounds like battered reminders of our failings — anti-trophies of our battles and defeats. But what of all the many times we smiled, we won and we saved ourselves, over and over again?
Where are our proud medals of personal success and gold-starred acknowledgements of our sweet victories and triumphs?
We are resilient and strong, and it’s about time we remembered this. We should be laying wreaths at the altars of the beautiful days we have lived.
I choose to let myself be the person I am, and the person I am proud of becoming. I choose to remember the sheer number of times my breath has been stolen by sunsets and sunrises, the oceans and mountains.I choose to be influenced by the kindness of strangers who have continuously shined out to me like a beacon of hope in the chaos of humanity.I choose not to be broken by the words which went against me, but instead choose to be strengthened by thepower of those which lifted me up and filled my heart with hope and my soul with joy.
I have decided to be carried by the river of love which runs through me, not by the fickle breeze of judgment and contempt which, at some stage, blows amongst us all.
Our whole lives are based on choice, it is what set us apart from other animals. We all have souls that need to survive but the difference is, we have a choice; we don’t have to just survive, we can live, we can thrive and we can be inspired.
We can choose what to leave behind and what no longer serves us. We have a privilege and, therefore, a right to be able to carry with us only that which benefits us — be it memories, friends, lovers or experiences.
“How we feel about ourselves, the joy we get from living, ultimately depends directly on how the mind filters and interprets everyday experiences. Whether we are happy depends on inner harmony, not on the controls we are able to exert over the great forces of the universe.”~ Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Why should we carry the responsibility of the burden of our pasts when we can choose to leave it behind?
Let’s try to take only with us the softness, the warmth and the kindness that each of us has and will continue to experience, and be more selective with the past we choose to carry; therefore, the life we choose to live.
If I am the sum of my experiences, then I choose to be built out of the multitudes of dreams that reside inside my heart and the many sunny days that I have woken up to.
I choose to be a product of all the magical times that my soul has connected with another’s, and the plethora of smiles I have received from strangers. I choose to be a grand medley of the times I have loved others and been loved myself.
I choose to embody the sum of the parts of me constructed from perseverance, determination and hope, rather than an amalgamation of my memories of fear and shame.
My self-confidence is more reliant on how I choose to see myself, than how others choose to see me.
My self-belief is dependent on the importance I place on my own dreams, not the willingness of others to support them.
The love I have for myself is home-grown and self-appointed and is based on the gradual collection of experiences in which I have taken growth and strength as an outcome, not self-pity.
{Photo via pinterest.com}
We have two options in this short and sweet life of ours: We can blame others for who or where we are today, or we can take responsibility for our own happiness. We are the lead character in the story of our lives… Select the plot you want, drop what you don’t. The rest is fantasy.
It’s true that we are the sum of our experiences… but only those we choose to cherish. Remember the good and forget the rest.
Life’s too short not to.
